Mental Health in the U.S. Workplace

By now, I think many people are well aware that there are limited protections for workers in the U.S., and when it comes to healthcare, employees are at the mercy of employers. Even though I was not a good fit for my last position, I was afraid to leave because I would lose my insurance if I did.

In order to keep up with the large workload that I had, I had to work overtime, which meant I worked 45-50 hours a week (for less than $40,000 per year). To be honest, even working an extra hour or two a day didn't help me keep up with the work. I felt constantly overwhelmed. I did eventually have a mental breakdown, and it took four weeks for me to recover and finally go back to work full time. During that time, I was able to use my vacation hours and sick time, and thankfully, my supervisors didn't give me too much flak.

I got the flak later. The last couple of months before I left my position, I decided to stop working overtime because I was incredibly stressed out and didn't feel like I could handle it without my health taking another dive. But the department head then gave me a huge spill about how salary workers are required to work overtime sometimes, and that I had to work overtime to finish projects before I left the company. It made my blood boil. I had worked overtime for a few years, and it was my last two months. It was pure bullpoop. I angrily responded I couldn't work overtime because I was in pain, and she required that I submit a doctor's note. So I did. I was so pissed off that I asked two different doctors for notes. If she wanted notes, she was gonna get them. I thought about perhaps contacting a lawyer and trying to figure out how to invoke ADA. Perhaps I should have gone to HR to ask for accommodations, but I didn't trust them. HR exists to protect the company from getting sued, not to protect the employees.

In the U.S., there is nothing to stop a boss from abusing salaried workers. And let's be honest. Requiring salaried workers to work overtime every single day in order to keep up with the workload is abuse. It's extremely unhealthy and causes harm to the workforce and productivity. Working long hours can lead to burnout and to the development of physical and mental health disorders, such as tension headaches, anxiety, and depression. (By "requiring" here I mean that there are many employers who will say to your face that you shouldn't have to work overtime or you should only work overtime occasionally, but then there is an implicit company culture that suggests you should be working overtime and checking email all the time.)

The U.S. does have the Americans with Disabilities Act, which requires employers to provide accommodations to employees with disabilities. But I feel like the act doesn't do enough to protect those with disabilities. And is mental illness a disability in the first place? My mental illness did cause me to procrastinate, and I feel it took me longer to get started and to complete work than expected. However, I'm still not sure that my anxiety could have been considered a disability, even though my doctors had classified it as "severe."

In my supervisors' defense, I didn't tell them I had been diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses or that my anxiety disorder caused physical symptoms, such as stomachaches and headaches. I felt uncomfortable disclosing my conditions because I thought they would have treated me even more poorly than before due to the stigma of mental illness (and yet, here I am talking about it on the Internet, a more public forum than the workplace). I thought there might have been a possibility that I could have been fired since my mental illness slowed my work down and reduced my output.

Mental illness does negatively impact my work, and it cause delays in productivity. I feel like the stress of the workplace environment, working overtime, and just generally struggling to complete daily tasks makes mental health worse, and that supervisors who do not provide compassion or mercy for struggling employees only add to the employees' distress and pain. I wish there were more protections for disabilities and mental illness in the U.S. workplace.

Doctors: The Bane of My Existence

I do not like doctors. I never really have, and I can't tell you when my dislike of the medical professional started. I can tell you that now my dislike of doctors stems from the fact that they don't seem to listen. They seem to talk to the diagnosis, but they don't talk to your humanity. When I sit across from the doctor in the small exam room, I don't feel that they take my questions seriously.

I can understand why some patients distrust doctors' professional opinions. Doctors, in general, don't listen very well, and they often dismiss your concerns or cut you off. They may be experts in medicine, but they are not experts in calming irrational fear.

When you have a chronic disorder, such as anxiety, you have no choice but to interact with doctors. It's a pain in my butt. I have a hard time advocating for myself, but unfortunately, when you deal with doctors, you have to be able to speak up and stand up for yourself. I've never developed the skill of assertiveness, and I feel when I've tried to stand up and speak out, I've been shot down. It's a difficult thing to do, especially if you lack self-esteem, like I do.

There are calls to change the way doctors interact with patients and to introduce empathy into the medical system. In particular, some clinicians and patients are using graphic novels to tell their stories. They've even developed a whole website and conference for this genre: Graphic Medicine.

But I think waiting for the medical system to change to favor patients' humanness over diagnoses will take entirely too long and will not help me in the long run. I'll need to learn how to stand up for myself and my medical needs even when doctors are dismissing my concerns. This feels like an extremely uncomfortable position for me to be in, especially with anxiety because sometimes my anxiety does blow things out of proportion. I can't tell if what I'm feeling should be taken seriously or if it should be dismissed as irrational, and unfortunately, the people who do have knowledge that can help me aren't sharing it as much as I would like.

If I had one wish for the medical community, it would be for my doctor to offer more information on how biological mechanisms work and also for our appointments to be longer so that we could actually talk. The current system does not allow doctors to really spend time with their patients and discuss their concerns.

Disclaimer: I used to work for the Press that publishes the Graphic Medicine book series.

Social Blunder: He Needs to Learn Some Manners First

When young children approach my dog, I tend to tense up. My dog isn't aggressive, but he does have a lot of energy and could easily knock over a child. I don't let him approach children, and a few times young kids have asked to pet my dog, I've told them no and held my dog back. While I love my dog, I don't let him near children because I don't want him to accidentally hurt a kid. This is all a bit funny since my dog loves young kids and always pulls towards them.

A few weeks ago I took Neeko for a walk in the park. Everything was going well until I saw a young boy, around 2 or so, petting a large calm dog. Oh, no, I thought. Please don't let them come this way. And of course, they came my way. I held Neeko back as best as I could, and I moved off the walking path. When the young boy approached, I tried to dissuade him from petting my dog, and a couple seconds later, his guardian encouraged him to walk away. You can't pet all dogs. Some dogs have too much energy, his guardian said. I was grateful for the guardian's intervention, but I also felt a bit sad. A tear rolled down the young boy's cheek as he walked away (I'm not making that up either). That boy really loved dogs.

As they walked away, I exclaimed, "He needs to learn some manners first!" with a smile. The guardian gave me a strange look, like I had just insulted him, and then I realized with horror, he thought I was talking about his kid! I was talking about my dog! My dog needed to learn how to calm himself and keep his paws on the ground while people pet him.

This incident keeps replaying over and over again in my head, and I find it difficult to shut off the shame. I didn't mean to insult the well-behaved toddler, who was much, much better behaved that my overexcited pooch. Every time my brain reminds me of the episode, I talk a deep breath and remind myself it was a silly miscommunication. It's not a big deal. Perhaps over time, the shame of yelling "learn some manners" will fade away.