Doctors: The Bane of My Existence

I do not like doctors. I never really have, and I can't tell you when my dislike of the medical professional started. I can tell you that now my dislike of doctors stems from the fact that they don't seem to listen. They seem to talk to the diagnosis, but they don't talk to your humanity. When I sit across from the doctor in the small exam room, I don't feel that they take my questions seriously.

I can understand why some patients distrust doctors' professional opinions. Doctors, in general, don't listen very well, and they often dismiss your concerns or cut you off. They may be experts in medicine, but they are not experts in calming irrational fear.

When you have a chronic disorder, such as anxiety, you have no choice but to interact with doctors. It's a pain in my butt. I have a hard time advocating for myself, but unfortunately, when you deal with doctors, you have to be able to speak up and stand up for yourself. I've never developed the skill of assertiveness, and I feel when I've tried to stand up and speak out, I've been shot down. It's a difficult thing to do, especially if you lack self-esteem, like I do.

There are calls to change the way doctors interact with patients and to introduce empathy into the medical system. In particular, some clinicians and patients are using graphic novels to tell their stories. They've even developed a whole website and conference for this genre: Graphic Medicine.

But I think waiting for the medical system to change to favor patients' humanness over diagnoses will take entirely too long and will not help me in the long run. I'll need to learn how to stand up for myself and my medical needs even when doctors are dismissing my concerns. This feels like an extremely uncomfortable position for me to be in, especially with anxiety because sometimes my anxiety does blow things out of proportion. I can't tell if what I'm feeling should be taken seriously or if it should be dismissed as irrational, and unfortunately, the people who do have knowledge that can help me aren't sharing it as much as I would like.

If I had one wish for the medical community, it would be for my doctor to offer more information on how biological mechanisms work and also for our appointments to be longer so that we could actually talk. The current system does not allow doctors to really spend time with their patients and discuss their concerns.

Disclaimer: I used to work for the Press that publishes the Graphic Medicine book series.