I'll get you, moths, and your little eggs, too!

I've had moths in my apartment for a long time now, and I'm just finally starting a treatment plan. I first did some online research to figure out how to get rid of them since killing them individually with a broom wasn't working that well. I decided to follow the method listed by Apartment Therapy. I found some Pantry Moth traps at Walmart (unexpectedly in the garden section), and set them up in my kitchen where I had seen the largest amount of pantry moths. Next, I went to work taking everything off my "pantry" shelves, scrubbing the shelves with soap and water and then following up with bleach. I threw away all of the boxes sitting on the shelves, even the unopened ones. I also bought some OXO containers from Target to store all my food stuff in, so I don't have to rely on bags and boxes that moths can eat through.

Next I cleaned the top of my fridge with soap and water and bleach, and I found the mother-load.

I had originally bought these Hawaiian roles back in December when my Dad came to visit me for Christmas. And then I forgot about them. The rolls got pushed to the back of the top of my fridge by cereal boxes and reusable bags. I guess the moral of the story is I need to organize my pantry area so that I can see all my food stuff and use it all in a timely manner before it develops nasty stuff, like mold or moths. At this current moment, there are still a few months hanging out on my ceiling, but I hope they'll go away soon since I've gotten rid of their food supply.

How to Deal With a Religious Family

Step 1: Pretend you're religious by smiling and nodding when your family mentions God.

I truly don't have any advice for dealing with family members who insist that your way is wrong and their way is right. Mr. Atheist suggests coming out to someone in your family who feels the same way that you do, and perhaps speaking with the host ahead of time. If you don't feel comfortable hanging out with your family who tends to shove religiosity down your throat, you can bow out and leave.

For the most part, my younger sister and I are in the same boat. We're not all that religious and find life to be satisfying without following the church's doctrine, but we have different ways of confronting the issue. My younger sister prefers to cut off contact and not show up to family gatherings. I show up and just play along. Sure, I'll hold hands and say grace to keep the peace. I'll even pretend to listen and keep my thoughts to myself when my aunts and uncles talk about the ways God has blessed them by not giving them a job promotion. I'll even respond with "okay" when my mom tells me to say my prayers. On the other hand, my younger sister only talks to my mom when she needs something and otherwise avoids contact with her: no phone calls, no visits.

I've never told my family explicitly that I'm an atheist even though I'm pretty sure my mom knows that I don't believe anymore. She told me she's not sure why I think and believe differently from her when she's the one who raised me. It's disappointing to hear something like that coming from your own mom. I know religion is important to my mom, so I keep my opinions to myself. But somehow I feel like I've still disappointed her. I've learned to live with that disappointment, and I think at this point, my mom has too, or perhaps I'm deluding myself.

I keep telling myself I'll come out after my grandparents pass away because after that, it doesn't matter anymore. For the longest time, I was afraid I would be kicked out of the family because I don't believe. I have avoided phone calls and letters from my grandparents out of guilt that I don't think the same way as they do. Out of guilt or perhaps fear that they'll discover a wolf in sheep's clothes and be very disappointment in me. I feel anxious around my family, especially my grandparents, and I hope they never discover my secret (that I am blatantly putting on the Internet, the least secret place in the entire universe). Last year I had a panic attack in my sleep because I was so worried about going to my grandparents' house in my dreams.

It might be easier to deal with if they shared the same values as me, but we don't share the same values and we seem to be on the opposite side of the spectrum. For now, I'll bide my time and keep my opinions to myself. I'm lucky in the fact that I don't have to live near them anymore so I don't have to hide my true self as much. It feels weird when they say things like, "Oh, we miss you since you're so far away." It feels like they're just saying it to say it and that it couldn't possibly be true since they don't even know the real me.

Family is difficult, and I'm afraid I don't have any answers. I've chosen the route with the least conflict but also with the least satisfying outcome for the relationships with my family. I don't hate my family, and I don't think they're terrible people whom I should cut off. I just wish they would talk less about religion so I didn't have to dread going to their houses for holidays.

Maggot Update

They're still in my apartment! I've thrown out trash and a couple plants and cleaned up some dishes, but they're still appearing at night on my ceiling. Where are they coming from?! It's so disgusting.